When one thinks about moving to a new country, trying a different style of life, or “exploring the world,” many thoughts and feelings make it seem complicated, risky, or impossible to move forward. Some fears that accompany us during the first years remain even once we are established in a new city.

Being an Expat means we have been courageous enough to leave our hometown because we wanted to try something different than what people usually do, or we have a project, a dream, or hopes to find a better life and opportunities.

The challenges are broad and vary depending on each individual. Considering emotional aspects, for instance, we tend to go through sadness, loneliness, anxiety, panic attacks, hopelessness, and low self-esteem, among others. Chiefly this happens due to many situations we have to deal with, for example, discovering new chances for socializing, looking for a confident group of friends, or someone to share the way.

It was also facing difficulties in adapting ourselves to a new culture, new language, finding a job that satisfies us, and feeling ok with the course of living and the activities available to enjoy spare time. Usually, one fears the chances of self-realization in the future and the uncertainty behind it.

Besides that, another worrying area is related to what we have “left back,” like our nuclear relationships as friends or relatives. It is notably the worries that could appear regards negative changes that could happen along distance or missing the trust and closeness, or find out modification in the relationship.

In addition, another kind of preoccupation is associated with the administrative process of being accepted and holding the resident permit approved.

Finally, there is another consideration when talking about couples moving abroad and the crisis that could arise from the changes in the lifestyle and dynamics. And families, when the most crucial matter is how to provide care and safety to their children and ensure their further education.

After being an Expat for four years and having worked with ex-pats from many other countries in the last years, I have realized some of the patterns and typical phases we go through in setting our life in a new country.

In general, one of the first fantasies is about walking away from our first friends and family groups and feeling guilty about having abandoned them. It is a teary, too hurtful image where one can perceive itself as going away seeking a better life or discovering new adventures. At the same time, when looking back, all our beloved people are standing still, looking at how we get away from them. Many times, this is a heartbreaking image and can confuse us or make us doubt our decisions or wishes. Moreover, it makes us doubt if we are good or bad people.

As examples like that, we can tell many other similar stories that will complicate our actions and possibilities. Overall, false beliefs or suppositions exist simultaneously and are present from the beginning. For instance:

• All about “leaving”, “walking away”, “abandoning”, “losing”, and “negative changes along time”.
• The uncertainty generated by throwing oneself into new unknown experiences, the luck at the hand of the Universe, to deal and accept what reality has prepared for us, if that is what will make me happy o would be the best choice.
• Fears regard regrets or irreversible consequences in our life and personal history.

In most cases, it happens in contexts where people have always maintained their life in the same city or country. Consequently, a lack of models holds a negative or uncertain idea about traveling or keeping in contact along the distance.

All these kinds of fantasies, negative thoughts, or hurting emotions are focused on therapy. We will try to expand the sad story we tell ourselves and realize that the reality could be much better. For example, that could be chances to let our friends or relatives visit us or for us to see them in the future.

There are strategies to be encouraged to travel and try living in another country that attenuates the feelings described before and instead allows us to take smaller steps that don’t implicate profound consequences.

After working with many of the emotional and rational aspects, we could arrive at new images characterized by being more positive, more logical, sincere, and reflecting better reality. It includes consideration about:

• Open communication with the people we love.
• Agreements to short and long terms.
• Commitment and confidence between both sides

As a result, we can experience calm and peace since it permits us to focus on the here and now and use our energy towards our personal development and the process of being based in a foreign country.

An example of a probable new and positive image would be the case of visualizing ourselves in a new country, cheerful by having the chance to learn a new language, working and traveling a lot, or following with studies and professional development. While at the same time, this gives us the economic and emotional resources to keep visits throughout the year to meet our beloved ones or invite them to where we are. In some cases, people are

pushed to live abroad due to the economic crisis in their country. So living in a place where earnings are higher motivates the chances to help their family and be supportive to them from abroad.

Once one arrives at visions like that, it is possible to think and feel in this way:

“Everything works well abroad, and I accept to be happy. At the same time, it allows me to maintain a stronger and more mature bond with people I love. I learn new ways to keep us united (emotionally), even though we are not together (physically). There are things we lost, but anothers that we have gained.”

Worth to mention that nowadays we count huge advantages when considering living far from home. Technology has achieved to break with temporal-spacial distances and provides the opportunity to communicate constantly and in a high-quality manner. A sample of this is the video calls, audio messages, and sharing pictures or memorable moments in real-time that work as a great support to keep linked to our people through distance.

Welcome, and thank you for visiting! I’m Guido Cataldo, a licensed psychologist with extensive experience working with expats and professionals across various industries. Based in Copenhagen since 2018, I collaborate with international clients and am fully covered by insurance in Denmark and the US. I provide support to employees from fields such as tech, finance, healthcare, and more, helping them navigate mental health challenges in a multicultural world.

My content focuses on addressing real-life issues faced by expats: from managing work-related stress to overcoming personal challenges abroad. I’ll offer practical strategies to improve well-being and foster stronger connections in both your personal and professional life.

Living and working abroad brings unique stressors that impact our emotions, relationships, and goals. I’ve worked with individuals from many industries, offering insights and solutions that have helped them find balance in a demanding, fast-paced world.