Author: English Speaking Psychologist

What is Extreme Stress?

Technically called “Burnout” it can feel like an overwhelming fatigue that drains our ability to care or connect. It’s often the result of prolonged stress, leaving you feeling numb, detached, or helpless. The good news? It’s possible to recover and thrive again.

Do you find yourself easily irritated, exhausted even after rest, or disconnected from loved ones? These are common signs that you might be experiencing burnout. Many people feel ashamed, thinking they should “just cope.” However, recognizing the signs early can help you regain control.

Why Does Burnout Happen?

Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a natural reaction to overwhelming demands—whether they stem from work, caregiving, or the pressure of constantly being “on.” When you’re emotionally burnt out, it’s important to understand that it’s your body and mind’s way of signalling a need for change.

You’re Not Alone

Healing from burnout takes time, but you don’t have to go through it alone. In therapy, we work together to help you rebuild from a place of empathy without judgment. Many clients I’ve worked with have transformed their lives through this journey, and you can, too.

Feel free to write to me whether you have questions regarding how you can be helped or  about the treatment.

I will do my best to answer in the following 48 hs.

Do you ever feel like your mind is racing, constantly jumping from one thought to the next, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed? Overthinking is a common struggle that many people face, and it can take a serious toll on mental health. Let’s explore how managing overthinking can help you regain control of your thoughts and lead a more peaceful life.

Overthinking often comes from a desire to solve problems or anticipate outcomes. However, instead of finding solutions, we get stuck in loops of worry, replaying the same thoughts without resolution. Psychologically, overthinking can stem from anxiety, perfectionism, or past experiences where over-preparation seemed like the safest option.

Many clients come to therapy feeling trapped by their thoughts, worried about making decisions or regretting past actions. One client used to spend hours analyzing every social interaction, wondering if they said or did the right thing. Through therapy, they learned to recognize their thought patterns and gently challenge their assumptions, eventually feeling more at ease with uncertainty.

Overthinking can feel like a trap, but with the right tools and support, you can break free. Therapy offers a space to quiet the mental noise and develop a more peaceful, present-focused mindset. If you’ve been struggling with overthinking, consider exploring how therapy can help you regain control and find calm.

Feel free to write to me whether you have questions regarding how you can be helped or  about the treatment.

I will do my best to answer in the following 48 hs.

Ever feel like you’re constantly saying “yes” to things, even when deep down you’d rather say “no”? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with setting boundaries in their personal and professional lives, leading to stress, burnout, and strained relationships. Let’s explore how learning to set healthy boundaries can transform your mental well-being.

Setting boundaries isn’t just about learning to say no—it’s about protecting your time, energy, and emotions. Psychology shows that when we neglect boundaries, we often end up feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or even resentful. On the other hand, people who set clear limits tend to experience more satisfying relationships and greater peace of mind.

Many clients initially come to therapy overwhelmed by their inability to say no to work tasks, family obligations, or even social events. Over time, they learned that setting boundaries allowed them to regain control of their lives. For example, one client who always said yes to last-minute work requests realized it was impacting their personal time and emotional well-being. Through therapy, they discovered that politely declining didn’t damage their relationships but instead allowed for mutual respect.

Setting boundaries is essential for mental wellness, and it’s a skill anyone can learn with the right support. If you’ve been struggling to assert your needs or feel overwhelmed by your commitments, therapy can provide a safe space to explore and strengthen your boundaries.

Best,

Guido Cataldo

Feel free to write to me whether you have questions regarding how you can be helped or  about the treatment.

I will do my best to answer in the following 48 hs.

Sometimes, we struggle to complete a task that is possibly the most important to get done now. On many occasions, we have counted the days left until the deadline, and still, there were many other things on which we have spent our time and energy. It can result in many different emotional reactions, and some people begin to think negatively about themselves, complicating the situation.

A brief definition of procrastination is delaying or postponing tasks or activities that need to be done, despite knowing that delaying them may cause negative consequences or stress. It can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and frustration.

Just to illustrate this, I will give two examples:

• John is a college student who has an essay due in a week. He knows he needs to start working on it but keeps putting it off. Instead, he watches series, plays video games, and hangs out with his friends. As the deadline approaches, John becomes increasingly anxious and stressed, but he still doesn’t start working on the essay until the night before it is due. He thought he always figured out how to find a solution under pressure and always succeeded.
• Sarah is a marketing executive who has a big project to complete for her boss. She knows she needs to finish it but is constantly distracted by social media, emails, and other tasks. She tells herself she’ll start the project in an hour or two, but that time never comes. She feels tired, that it never is a good time to start the project, and that it would be essential to begin it once she finds a proper amount of time to dedicate. As the deadline approaches, Sarah feels overwhelmed and begins to panic. She finally starts working on the project but has to rush to finish it on time.

In both cases, were thoughts, suppositions or ideas around the goal of finding the right time to do it. Often, it is not the task that prevents us from committing to it but the thinking attached to that moment. It makes it unattractive or makes us believe that it never is a good time or would be frustrating, exhausting, or useless to dedicate ourselves to begin right now.

I will expose one way to find a solution to this tangled situation. It comes from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach), which says that achieving psychological flexibility will allow us to make the right choice once it is based on our values while still experiencing unwanted or unpleasant private events.

It means there is no need to wait until all those annoying thoughts disappear to find the right time to put in hands-on work. There is a way to move forward through it. Since our thoughts, actually, are not necessarily the reality itself (in this case, that the time is never right, or you will get bored, or that it is too difficult to do it right now, and so on) but are just one way our minds offer to understand or address it. So if we attach to those thoughts without deliberation, we will probably get lost.

That is called “Cognitive Fusion” since that is what we are doing in that case, fusing our thought with reality and what we feel. An example would be, 1- I think the task is tough. 2- We start believing the task is complex and problematic, so that is how the task is in reality for us. 3- What we feel corresponds to the reality that we have created by following or being attached to our thoughts.

So to defuse our thoughts, we have to gain a better understanding. If you want to do the practice, find a relaxed and comfortable place to be quiet and focus on your mind. Try to put your mind blank and see what happens. Suddenly some thoughts will arise almost automatically. The idea is to identify them and see what they are saying. Then, the next step is to identify that those are just thoughts coming up in your mind and not something real. A few metaphors can be used to understand thoughts and how to control them. Once you are at peace and focused, try to imagine that those thoughts or words are taking the shape of one of these metaphors:

1. The cloud metaphor: Just like clouds in the sky, thoughts come and go. Sometimes they are light and fluffy, and other times they can be dark and heavy. By observing our thoughts without judgment, we can allow them to pass by like clouds rather than getting caught up in them.
2. The traffic metaphor: Imagine your thoughts are like cars on a busy road. You are sitting on the side of the road, watching the cars go by. Some thoughts may be moving quickly, while others are moving slowly or getting stuck in traffic. By observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can learn to let them pass by like cars on the road.
3. The garden metaphor: Our thoughts are like seeds that we plant in a garden. Some seeds may grow into beautiful flowers, while others may turn into weeds. By observing our thoughts and choosing which ones to nurture and which ones to let go of, we can cultivate a garden of positive and productive thoughts.
4. The wave metaphor: Our thoughts are like waves in the ocean, constantly ebbing and flowing. Sometimes they are calm and gentle, while other times, they can be powerful and overwhelming. By observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can learn to ride the waves without getting swept away by them.
5. The river metaphor: Our thoughts are like a river flowing through our minds. Sometimes the current is strong and fast, while other times, it’s slow and meandering. By observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can learn to navigate the river of our mind without being swept away.
6. The movie screen metaphor: Our thoughts are like images projected onto a movie screen. They come and go, and we can choose to watch them or not. By observing our thoughts without judgment, we can become more aware of the patterns and themes in our thinking.
7. The weather metaphor: Our thoughts are like the weather, constantly changing and unpredictable. Sometimes they are stormy and chaotic, while other times, they are calm and peaceful. By observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them, we can learn to weather the storms and appreciate the sunny days.
8. The puppeteer metaphor: Our thoughts are like puppets on strings, and we are the puppeteer. We can choose to let our thoughts control us, or we can take control of the strings and direct our thinking in a more positive and productive direction.
9. The mountain metaphor: Our thoughts are like clouds passing over a mountain. The mountain remains constant and unchanged while the clouds come and go. By observing our thoughts from a place of inner stillness and stability, we can learn to stay grounded and centred, even as our thoughts come and go.

These metaphors can help you develop a non-judgmental and accepting attitude towards your thoughts, which is an important part of mindfulness. By learning to observe them without getting caught up in them, you can gain more control over your thinking and live a more intentional and fulfilling life.

If you do prefer some more practical suggestions, you could try the following:

1. Break tasks down into smaller steps: When a job feels too big, it’s easy to put it off. Instead, try breaking the task down into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make the job feel less overwhelming and help you get started.
2. Minimize distractions: Distractions can be a major source of procrastination. To minimize distractions, try turning off your phone, closing unnecessary tabs on your computer, or finding a quiet space to work in.
3. Use positive self-talk: Negative self-talk can contribute to procrastination by making you feel overwhelmed or inadequate. To combat this, try using positive self-talk to motivate yourself. Tell yourself that you’re capable of completing the task and that you’ll feel proud and accomplished once it’s done.
4. Reward yourself: Finally, it’s important to celebrate your successes and reward yourself for making progress. This can help reinforce positive habits and make the task feel more enjoyable. Treat yourself to something you enjoy once you’ve completed a task or reached a milestone.

Finally, here are some funny techniques to try as well:

• Eating the frog. This metaphor suggests that if you have a task that you are dreading or procrastinating on, you should “eat the frog” first thing in the morning. This means that you should tackle the most difficult or unpleasant task at the beginning of the day so that you don’t spend the rest of the day worrying about it. Just like how you might not enjoy eating a frog, but once you do, the rest of your day can only get better.
• The 5-minute rule. This metaphor suggests that you should commit to working on a task for just 5 minutes. Once you start, you might find that you are able to continue working on it for longer than 5 minutes. This approach helps to overcome the initial resistance to starting a task and can help you build momentum towards completing it.
• The Pomodoro technique. This metaphor suggests that you can break down tasks into shorter, more manageable periods, similar to the way a tomato is sliced into small pieces (Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato). By working in focused, 25-minute intervals, separated by short breaks, you can stay motivated and productive while also avoiding burnout.

Individuals who live and work outside their home country often face unique challenges that can impact their mental health. 

Some common issues that expatriates may frequently experience include:

1. Culture shock: It means the experience of feeling disoriented and overwhelmed by a new cultural environment. 
2. Loneliness and isolation: Expatriates may struggle with those feelings, especially if they live in a foreign country without a strong support network. It could help individuals build connections and find support systems in their new environment.
3. Adapting to new work environments: Expatriates may face challenges in adapting to new work environments, such as differences in work culture or language barriers.
4. Family and relationship issues: Moving to a new country can strain family relationships and marriages. 
5. Stress and anxiety: May be experienced when adjusting to a new country and culture, and one tends to focus excessively on the uncertainty instead of the novelty and surprise day by day.

Suppose you find yourself in one of those situations. In that case, the first step is to become aware of the consequences you are experiencing and if it is directly related to one of those causes. Accepting how challenging living in a new country is, becomes another significant step toward overcoming the current difficulties. Individuals can receive support from many sources to seek guidance to help them overcome the challenges of living and working in a new country and build a fulfilling life in their new environment. For example, many groups on social media aim to support and share experiences with people in the described situations so that you can contact others in the same circumstances. Generally, organizations from each community encourage people from the same background to meet and feel at home. Given the case, you are struggling with difficulties preventing you from seeking help or contacting others. In that case, asking for professional service from your GP or a psychologist is always recommended.

–Patience: You cannot rush from one state to another. Learning the new codes, laws, and opportunities takes time, and it is ok if you are living a different life right now. Everything will come up.

–Courage: It is your chance to try things you have never done before. Feeling nervous, shy or uncertain when facing new scenarios and interacting with new people is expected. Avoid being negatively self-critical.

–Curiosity: Asking and collecting information about how the labour market works, how to get advantages of social benefits, how people make the most out of the city, which are the best options to spend your spare time, and so on, will help you to be connected and possibly relate with people of the same interests.

–Self-compassion: There will always be times when things don´t go as expected. Do not punish yourself or the world. Take the experience as an opportunity to learn, review what went wrong, and how you could have acted differently.

–Traveler mindset: Remember you went out of your comfort zone. You already count on plenty of virtues and skills that helped to change your reality as it used to be toward new challenges and adventure.

I hope you find it useful. If there is anything you would like to talk about or exchange, you are welcome to contact me. Best,

Guido Cataldo

As the new year begins, many of us take a moment to reflect on the past and set intentions for the future. For some, the new year may bring feelings of excitement and hope, while for others, it may bring anxiety and fear. Regardless of how you feel about the new year, there are steps you can take from a positive psychological perspective to help you make the most of this new beginning.

First and foremost, it’s essential to focus on gratitude.

Gratitude has been shown to have a powerful impact on our well-being and taking a moment to reflect on the things you’re thankful for can help you maintain a positive outlook on the new year. Try writing down three things you’re grateful for each day, or take time to reflect on your blessings in the evening. Not has to be something extraordinary; the fact you are not sick, you are at home, well-accompanied or alone while suiting your environment in the way you like, etc., are some examples of what to be grateful for today.

Another key aspect of facing the new year from a positive psychological perspective is to set achievable goals.

Choosing goals that are meaningful to you and ensuring they’re within your reach is important. Setting goals that are too ambitious can lead to feelings of disappointment and failure, so be realistic and start small.

It’s also important to focus on the present moment.

Mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep breathing can help you stay grounded and focused on the here and now, even when the future may seem uncertain. This can help you build resilience and avoid getting overwhelmed by stress and anxiety.

Finally, remember to prioritize self-care.

Whether it’s getting enough sleep, eating healthy, or engaging in physical activity, taking care of your mind and body can help you feel more positive and ready to take on the new year.

Detachment is a philosophical concept that various thinkers and spiritual leaders over the years have discussed. It involves letting go of attachments and desires to live a more fulfilling life.

In the context of psychology, detachment can be applied in several ways to help people overcome various mental health challenges.

• For example, in the case of anxiety, detachment can involve letting go of worries and concerns about the future or past and focusing instead on the present moment. This can help you gain a sense of control over your thoughts and emotions, reducing anxiety symptoms in the process.
• Similarly, in the case of over-self demanding, detachment can involve recognizing that it is not necessary always to be productive or achieve a certain level of success in order to feel fulfilled. By letting go of your attachments to productivity and achievement, you can reduce stress and increase your well-being.
• Addiction to social media and mobile phones can also be addressed through detachment. By recognizing the attachment to these devices, you can start to set boundaries to limit their use and focus instead on your meaningful experiences and connections in the real world.
• Finally, detachment can also help you deal with a full schedule throughout the week by letting go of the attachment to having a perfectly balanced program. By recognizing that it is not always possible to have free time, you can learn to prioritize the things that are truly important to you and make the most of your time.

By letting go of attachments and desires, you can gain a greater sense of control over your thoughts and emotions and live a more fulfilling life.

In last words, detachment also means: not continually re-experiencing past mistakes or wrong decisions

Which pulls us down and stuck us in fear and self-insecurity. It invites us to let go of past sufferings and experiences. In that way, we become prepared for a fresh and new beginning without all the weight of past events.

1. Check on which resources you are counting on right now.
2. Explore the spectrum of possibilities, and start based on new information.
3. Say to yourself that you are trying to do your best.
4. No one will punish or criticize you for trying something different or improving any aspect of your life. Most of the cases are about trial and error.
5. Everyone has had to learn from the very beginning.

In case you would like some help to set those boundaries, learn how to control your thoughts and worries, or generate healthier habits, I am open to helping you and together we will set steps towards your goals.

The first is called Self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the capacity to recognize one’s own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations. It involves identifying and understanding one’s mental processes, motivations, and tendencies and how they impact one’s thoughts, behaviours, and decisions. From the first hour in the morning, we begin thinking about how the day will be, how many things must be done, and our expectations for the day.

Taking 5 to 10 minutes along the journey to calm down, breathe and be grateful, motivated and aware of how one is experiencing the day is fantastic not to feel trapped and lack meaning in what we do.

Another way to develop self-awareness is through feedback from others. This can be obtained through various forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or existential therapy, or through coaching or mentorship. Feedback from others can help you identify patterns of behavior and thought that you may not be aware of, and can provide a fresh perspective on your experiences and actions.

Practising self-care and engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being could result in enhanced self-awareness. This can include engaging in physical exercise, getting adequate sleep, eating a healthy diet, and managing stress.

Visualizing your goals can be a powerful tool for achieving success. When you visualize your goals, you create a mental image of what you want to achieve. This helps make your goals more concrete and tangible and can help you better understand what you need to do to achieve them. While not falling into panic for the considerable distance from the current situation.

Visualization can also help increase motivation and reduce anxiety. By seeing yourself successfully achieving your goals, you can feel more confident and motivated to work towards them. This can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety that can often accompany the pursuit of a challenging goal.

Additionally, visualization can also help to improve focus and concentration. When you visualize your goals, you can create a clear image in your mind, which can help you to stay focused on what you want to achieve. This can be especially helpful when faced with distractions or challenges that can pull you off track.

Overall, visualizing your goals can be a powerful tool in helping you to achieve success. Having group meetings sharing goals together, being active with the steps to follow, and seeking guidance from a counsellor or mentor to learn visualization, are effective alternatives to reach it when it is complicated by yourself.

Moving to a new country can be an exciting but also challenging experience. Expatriates often face various psychological and emotional hurdles, from culture shock and homesickness to language barriers and relationship difficulties.

Thankfully, many psychological resources are available to help you navigate these challenges and thrive in your new surroundings. Here are some of the most effective resources which will allow you also to meet new people and share commonalities:

Online support groups: Many online communities offer support and resources for expatriates facing similar challenges. These groups can provide a sense of belonging and connection, as well as offer practical advice and coping strategies.

Language classes: Learning the local language can be an excellent way to integrate into the local community and overcome communication barriers.

Cultural activities: Participating in local cultural events, festivals, and activities can help expatriates feel more connected to their new home and build relationships with the people around them.

Exercise and physical activity: Exercise and physical activity can be an effective way to manage stress and improve mental health. Expatriates can join local sports teams or take up a new hobby to stay active.

Volunteer work: Volunteering in the local community can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment and an opportunity to meet new people and make meaningful connections.

Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness and meditation practices can help expatriates manage stress and cultivate a greater sense of well-being.

Therapy or counselling: If you discover being in a situation where your feelings or pre-concepts of others or yourself stop you from setting the first step forward, you will probably be progressively impaired in getting courage, and you will start blaming yourself for things you could have done differently. That is not true; every experience gives us a chance to understand how to improve our decisions and prevent future failures. Talking with a mental health professional can help you process your emotions, address any psychological challenges you may face, and develop strategies for managing stress.

Depression is a common and debilitating mental health condition that affects millions of people around the world. It can be characterized by sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed. Depression can impact every aspect of a person’s life and can be challenging to overcome without proper support and treatment.

Today I would like to share about this approach, which has a different way of addressing the situation and is not just about following procedures but finding something more profound.

Existential psychology is a therapy that focuses on helping individuals find meaning and purpose in their lives. Unlike other forms of treatment that may focus solely on symptom reduction, existential psychology seeks to help individuals understand and overcome the root causes of their depression. Existential psychologists believe that depression often results from feeling disconnected from one’s own life and a lack of meaning and purpose. Through therapy, individuals can explore their own beliefs, values, and goals to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world. In existential therapy, the therapist works with the individual to help them gain a sense of control over their life and make choices that are aligned with their values and beliefs. The therapy may also involve assisting individuals to overcome feelings of guilt, shame, and a sense of meaninglessness that often accompany depression.

In addition to traditional talk therapy, existential psychologists may also incorporate creative techniques such as writing, art, and mindfulness practices to help individuals explore their emotions and gain a deeper understanding of their experiences.
Existential therapy can be a valuable tool for individuals struggling with depression. It allows individuals to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their values, and their place in the world. With the support of a trained existential psychologist, individuals can overcome their depression and lead fulfilling and meaningful life.

If you’re struggling with depression and looking for a type of therapy to help you understand and overcome the root causes of your condition, consider working with an existential psychologist.

Philosophy has been around for centuries, and its concepts and ideas have been used to help people understand their lives and the world around them. In modern times, the fast pace of life and the rise of technology have brought about new challenges that people must face. 

However, applying philosophical concepts to everyday life can address many of these challenges.

Once you can identify a problem, it is possible to understand its causes and apply concepts to see which would work better.